Tag Archives: humor

Desperate for relief I did the unthinkable, I made a poster, hung it on my front door and waited for the cops

I was at my wits ends living next door to bad neighbors. The booze and crack parties they enjoyed most days and every night always prompted their 4  dogs to participate in uncontrollable and excessive barking . I was so desperate for relief that I did the unthinkable, I made a poster and hung it on my front door and waited for the cops. Continue reading Desperate for relief I did the unthinkable, I made a poster, hung it on my front door and waited for the cops

A Dog, A Small Town of Pig Skinners and A Pig Skinning Alarm

Last night I was overtired and not thinking straight. My husband and I were watching a show with audio for the blind. I told him it was stupid, he said no it wasn’t, I said it was retarded to have such a small amount of audio for the blind to actually know whats going on. He said it was enough, I said they should have caption sentences running below the bottom of the screen with more information, he looked at me shook his head and said I was double dumb. Continue reading A Dog, A Small Town of Pig Skinners and A Pig Skinning Alarm

MADDY…MY MASTIFF MUT and her BUDDIES

Maddy Trooper and Shadow…the Muts we love.

No Maddy, this will eat you
Wow! it is eating me
Maddy! your young I’m old, this isn’t working for me
So, these are chickens
I AM smiling, this IS my happy face
I said no pictures today
I just need to see what you ate
Good girl be still, that means no one can see you

 Hope you enjoy these shots as much as the fun I had taking them. Trooper is a fabulous guardian for my Maddy. Shadow is getting too old for Troops heavy duty ways so I thought a heavy duty girl was in order. She is my little lover girl and Troop is my handsome lover boy. Shadow still has it in him though to keep the mice population down and keep an eye on everything that moves.

Her home is cold and scary with rodents in the walls

Her home is cold and scary with rodents in the walls? come on! it’s not that bad is it?

Sure there’s an unfinished wall or 2 or 8 but it takes time to build the perfect home.

A  good brisk home is good for a lot of reasons. You don’t need to dig out a root cellar for your garden crop! and if the electric goes out your food won’t go bad 😆 As for the rodents, well that’s hardly a problem, if we can’t trap em we’ll wall them in. 😀

This is a long post but, there are a lot of pictures and besides, do you know me to write anything boring? Continue reading Her home is cold and scary with rodents in the walls

Charming and still single

These are two pieces I did for a couple of locals in my town. One is a caricature sketch (my first) of a local barber and the other was a political cartoon request.

                                                     

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meet Bud the Stud..Santas new lead hand

My rough side.

Meet Bud The Stud..Santas New Lead Hand

Bud the Stud looks like crud and hangs out in the john

He’s always ill from homemade swill, but still he mushes on

He cannot spell or write to well, so Santa took him in

He pulls the sleigh on Christmas day, while drinking rum and gin

EVERY TRICK I KNOW

MEET MERRY MOO

I’m Merry Moo I smoke and chew, my milk will make you drunk

I have some broken teeth and I smell just like a skunk

My brain is fried from grass I’ve tried, so I feel really great

 But these old tricks aren’t working, I just can’t get a date

There it is, my naughty side.

Peanut Butter Fudge Fairies Comedy (real recipe)

PEANUT BUTTER FUDGE:  With hesitation…no, actually I had no hesitation, I cunningly subjected my male family members to humiliation in the making of this fudge making thriller.

I  promise to destroy all De-emasculating images of all my male family members from my computer media. I also applaud my dog Trooper for performing his own stunts.  Continue reading Peanut Butter Fudge Fairies Comedy (real recipe)

The Art of a Baker…My published work

I tried to run a small bakery in my home for a little while. I figured it would be a good platform to build a small home business doing things I love to do so I got creative with both baking and art combined. I called it Cartoon Kitchen and my tag line was the art of a baker. It did well enough but I wasn’t able to keep up to the demand for my homemade bread without a large dough mixing machine so I shut it down. In developing my kitchen I created my cartoons and started writing comedy style recipes and ingredient labels. For fun I continued to write, sketch and teach myself how to produce my cartoons on the computer. I still bake for not for sale. I garden and have discovered the joys of backyard chicken farming. I’ve designed greeting cards, shopping lists, calendars, books and the list goes on. Hope you enjoy it here and have some fun Continue reading The Art of a Baker…My published work

Froggle Wogg Cake photo & recipe

JUST SOME FUN STUFF I LIKE TO DESIGN

My art work and recipes

 

I hope to showcase a new graphic daily and “when my computer stops giving me so much trouble” I hope to finally figure out how to insert my recipes from word. Until I get the original froggle wogg cake recipe you can try this one:

Go find a froggle frog and put him in your purse or, pocket if you’re a guy. Put a little spit on your hand and pet him so he stays calm until you get home. Find an ice cream pail and dig a hole in the middle of the ice cream (this will be similar to a mud hole for him and he will enjoy it). Drop him in it along with a fly or knat, he is probably hungry now after travelling with you. Now you can woggle him, I don’t know what woggle means but it seems to finish this recipe off pretty good.

FROGGLE WOGG CAKE

JUST A CUTE CATEGORY NAME FOR KIDS CAKES

 

For a very short time I ran a bakery in my home. I love to bake as much as I love to design with my art. I use my cartoons to represent and decorate all my products. This was a request for a pirate ship theme birthday cake. Using a photo program I put the little guys face on my cartoon body. There is no secret recipe here, just a chocolate cake with butter cream icing.

Her Permanent Face…what i learned in my first blog

Daily Post  New Topic

Share something you learned recently

 Was having trouble setting up with fancy words I see

Like widget, spam and “WHATS LOG OUT”? It’s all a mystery.

I called and said to dear old Sis, my head is in a fog,

I’m not so good at this, you know, please edit my first blog.

She said OK, just let me know when you log out, I’ll fix,

I’m pretty good at techy stuff, I know a lot of tricks.

I left the page and she stormed in to conquer and replace

The screwy mess I made throughout my little blogging place.

Half a day and cursing now, she said, “I need some drinks.

This blog of yours is HORRIBLE, your understanding stinks.

I cannot do a thing in here, my hands you see are bound

I start to fix a paragraph and pop-ups shut me down.

The pages freeze and tick me off, I’m stressed, I’m gotta quit.

You need to fix it up yourself, I really hate your shit.”

I thought that I would cry but then decided just to pout

But then I saw with toothy grin that I was not logged out.

 MY SIS LOGGED IN TO FIX MY MESS

TO ORGANIZE AND PLACE….

MY BLOGS A MESS, IT STRESSED HER OUT.

NOW HERE’S HER PERMANENT FACE!

I’ve learned recently (yesterday) that log out and close page are different computer terms. My sister learned recently (yesterday) why some people drink.

It’s decided…”We’ll never eat our young”

My freaky little flock of chickens and ducks lay eggs throughout the day, no particular time or place. I received 4 eggs this morning and 3 again this afternoon along with my first egg yolk if you can believe that; in case you can’t here’s the picture.

 

I had to remove it before word got around and the digression to cannibalism began. I reached in, grabbed the yolk with a handful of straw, turned and tripped over my loyal State Trooper. (behind me in his usual spot for egg moochin) Well the yolk dropped, Trooper pounced on it and all hell broke loose. The entire flock swarmed in to snatch it away from him. You probably don’t believe that either….I took a picture.

Troop didn’t leave much pickins for the chickens (hey, another rhyme)

The ducks.. well they were disgusted and left with their dignity in tact while Troop searched……………………

and searched and searched for his next favorite delicacy…ugh

But then the ducks  stopped for an introspective view and quacksession

And decided never to eat their young.

Boy Meets Girl

Don’t let my pretty face fool ya

I’m rugged and tough, I’m more than enough

On weekends I work, then I’m free

I think you’re a prize

Nice hair and nice eyes

So how bout a coffee with me!

 

You’ll have a good time

My companies fine

I’m honest and I love my Mom

So what do ya think

I’m clean I don’t stink

I know that we’ll have some fun

Designed for all you guys that don’t want rejection face to face, hell who does! just drop this little gem of a card on the desk of whom ever tickles your fancy then run, run far and fast. If she likes ya she’ll track ya down; if she don’t she won’t. The best part is you’ll never even know whether she dissed ya or was just fatally wounded on her way home.

Construction In The Coop

 

Well thanks to my sisters Finicky Freida and Breaky bones I have yet another addiction. Smoking, coffee and now blogging.

I did take a break from beginning my new blog at “way too early this morning” because my blood sugar dropped suddenly without warning as per usual and I had to eat. Then again about an hour I had to break again to feed and appease my husband, my blood sugar had dropped anyway.

It’s snowing a bit today so twice I had to run out a few times (that sentence makes no sense) climb a ladder and shovel heavy wet snow off my chicken coop, I luv doing that…not. I use to have to break ice also in the ducks water bowl until I bought some de-icers. Works great but now the ducks spend all their time in their “bathtub/toilet”…nice, oh well it beats bringing the silly buggers in and melting frozen poop off their behinds in my tub.

But I do enjoy designing stuff so the other day I engineered a long snow sweeper which was to help me with my chicken care task. It’s really quite pathetic to look at, looks like somethin a 5-year-old made but so far it’s working for me, lets see if I can properly describe it for you.

 It’s a 10 foot long piece of skinny metal pole (can’t remember the proper name and Rob’s sleeping so he won’t answer me) with a broken piece of osb board  2 in wide by 4 ft long wrapped real good in white cold hardy tape and taped to the end of my pole in a T shape.

Then because this wasn’t long enough to reach the entire length of my coup I taped a broken wooden broom stick to the metal pole and it looks as crazy as it sounds. Now because the broom handle wasn’t even as long as I needed I wasnt able to tape it up good and solid so when I use this chicken coop roof sweeper (the name I’m going to patent) it bends where the pole is taped to the broom producing a v shape preventing me from using enough pressure to actually grab or push all the snow.

I only ever end up just skimming over the top of the roof if I’m lucky and if that weren’t enough to contend with my roof is not a solid thing either, it’s made of hardware cloth with polyplastic stuff taped on top. So my chicken roof dips and thus my job is pretty near impossible with my bendable chicken coop roof sweeper.

 But the best part is yet to come I think, because I taped the plastic poly stuff on top of  the wire roof but from the inside of the coop. The tape I’m afraid is cold hardy so I don’t think I’ll be able to tear it loose this spring from the wire which is stuck real good now to the polyplastic stuff. Snappers, I was going to plant a chicken vegetable garden in the chicken coop this summer, oh hell I’m going to anyway even if the roof is covered in heavy white polyplastic stuff.

Here’s my chicken coop roof sweeper.

Here’s the coop hiding under the winter plastic cover.