FAIL FAIL stupid little girl

I guess this page describes my challenge growing up, the importance in encouraging others no matter how “dumb” you think a person is. I also would like to add that you have the power to choose to lose your smile in-spite of tough times or keep it.

If you’re a teacher be sure to show positive encouragement to all students.

If you’re a parent make sure you  know how your child feels.

If you’re a student  “COMMUNICATE”   your feelings with your parents or another adult you trust AND NEVER  listen or believe negative words from anyone. Only believe you are exactly the way God wanted you to be. Only believe you are fearfully and wondrously made, unique and perfect in His will and He has a perfect plan for your life.

 My grade 9 English teacher was the kind of teacher nightmares are made of and to whom I gave credit for the crackly voice in my head that would tell me “I’m stupid.”  To protect her identity I’ve altered her face slightly (because I can draw)  changed her name and her ethnic skin color in her photo below.

I’m not one for small talk (which oddly enough doesn’t appeal to the man I married) so I’ll re-cap quickly here. Grade 9, moved again, new school, moved a lot, (Dad was awesome loving, and very funny but he was transferred with work almost yearly so we had new schools all the time) no friends, shy, hated school, small and skinny. So…no big surprise my chances of graduating with honors would be pretty much down the crapper. I had one thing going for me however that even I was unaware of and that was IMAGINATION and lots of it, Thank you Lord.

FAIL FAIL stupid little girl

In grade 9 class one day with Mrs. Swamp Donkey we were told to read a novel of our choice then write a short story. I read a novel called The Black Stallion and immediately started writing, I didn’t stop till it was done.

It was a masterpiece, unbelievably impressive for one so inadequate in verbal communications, I was thrilled I was excited, I had a new found confidence in myself. I had no idea I had it in me to write a story so full of imagination and drama. Something fiction that read so real and not surprisingly either did she as it was painfully pointed out to me when my written work received an F, along with a pleasant little comment written in her very own donkey blood across my title page accusing me of plagiarism. My heart sank and my inner spirit sank deeper still as I interpreted her words to me, “you are too stupid to write something this good”…”HOLY HORSE”…  I MEAN HARSH! I MEAN PRETTY HARSH YOU HORSE MULE!

In spite of my thoughts for her that could have quite easily exposed her to be the dumb by saying ” anyone with a working brain could see the difference in size and content between my work and the book I read, copy the book! are you kidding me? try READING THE BOOK DONKEY FACE before you pass this terrible judgment on me. I was not brave enough to stand up for myself so I quietly accepted my grade. Mom and Dad were ticked to say the least at this bony little swamp donkey, they had a little chat with her the next day at lunch hour, she begrudgingly graced me with a passing C.

It took far too many years to trash the trash talk walk I was now living. After all, if you graduate and become a TEACHER that means you’re SMART doesn’t it. And if someone SMART tells you you’re stupid they’re right, aren’t they? I was certainly proving that to myself in math, science and other technical studies anyway.

I found myself in grade 10 with low to average grades and yes in yet another school. I had come from 0 to 10 and was utterly lifeless and desperately sad through every grade in school, for all intensive purposes I was dead. I believed I was stupid and had no friends; but then in grade 10 I found a beautiful teacher, he was gentle, kind and full of encouragement for our class. He was my Art Teacher and I was filled with confidence, excitement and joy for the precious time I had with him. My hidden artistic talent was soon to be exposed.

I didn’t know I could draw until the day Mr. blonde handsome Art Teacher asked us to just draw something. I thought for a moment…nothing, I then closed my eyes and there it was, the most ridiculous cartoon imaginable. I picked up my pencil and started to draw. I had never taken a lesson before, yet a magical mysterious force guided my hand with experienced perfection. I was tickled and surprised at my talent and my Teacher was impressed .

My artwork sketches and clay statues that followed were then showcased behind glass doors in the school hallway and other pieces were humbly requested by my Teacher. I was far too honored to say no and that mean crackly voice I spoke of earlier went away. After this I was unable to get art studies in grade 12 and I did drop out half way through.

I then waitressed, played with horses, married, had kids, divorced, waitressed again and eventually started a cleaning business I called Boney Fingers, and that’s when the mean crackly voice came back. I found myself dwelling in the pit of hell with Swamp Donkey continually telling me I’m too stupid to do anything else but clean? The image and cruel words of that wretched red-head teacher began to cause an intense amount of pain and struggle for many years in spite of many intelligent caring people encouraging me.

Due to financial lack I set out to learn things on my own that are far easier to learn under the guidance of a teacher. My accomplishments are no small feat and I’m proud of all I’ve learned. It was by no means easy and produced a strong passion in me towards the importance of an education with beautiful Teachers.

And I no longer hear the mean crackly voice.

My post – Look What Happens When You Don’t Know What To Do – describes the rebirth of my sketching and creative writing. And maybe you’re wondering what’s up with the name eddybettyshreddy? Well I’ve made myself sick in the head lately with the best name to describe my art and writing. I’ve searched the web for many good names I came up with but they were all taken.

Now we have several critters here at home and 3 cats are among the crowd. One cat we named Eddy, our granddaughter however thinks we’re saying Betty so that’s his name when she’s around, and because Eddy will shred anything he comes in contact with, my husband calls him Shreddy. I simply combine the three names together and call him Eddybettyshreddy and I think it’s adorable how it started. Thanks Amy, Grandma Luvs you toooo much and the big bonus is, no one has that name. Yippee.

Well here I am along with  some samples of my art and sewing designs. All art, poetry and graphic designs in my blog are copyright protected.

This blog is new but will grow quickly day by day as I cram in here  as much stuff as I can before the chickens, ducks, dogs, cats and husband appear to be suffering from malnutrition and dehydration, I’m sure my nurturing instincts will kick in again at that point and then I will go and make sure everyone at least gets water.

Right below is my version of a dogs baby book. I’m not posting all the pages but it has everything I need to track my dog like you would a kid. Is it funny? As a matter of fact it’s ridiculously funny. Is it a real book, why yes! I bound it myself here at home.

A friend asked if I could design a CD jacket and so I did.

Last year for fun I designed a kids cooking calendar. Here’s the month of April and July.

Adult version of February

Below are Custom dog walking coats with a nice matching poop pickin purse. Some designs I developed when I taught myself how to sew and the dog templates are my designs also.

The baby blanket below was made before the dog coats. I didn’t know how to “sew” when I made this baby quilt, I mean who can’t sew a few straight lines then close it up in the shape of a rectangle.

As for the artwork templates, easy man. just cut out shapes on cardboard and transfer the cardboard shape to your blanket. The zigzag stich looks after the lettering then voilà, a unique blanket that makes you look like a pro.

Well I better go check on the gang and see if they need water now…I suppose it wouldn’t hurt if I brushed my hair and teeth got dressed and maybe cleaned a toilet or two around here either. It may be another 24 hours before I leave this post again.

Thanks for reading my story. It’s my hope that it causes others to think before they speak and when you do, speak only good kind words to another because ugly words can kill your spirit, self confidence and sadly for some a life.

To all you shy kids and adults, I can’t stress enough the importance finding of good strong positive people to stay in company with. To bring you strength when you feel weak and confidence when you feel inadequate and insecure.

If you don’t have that crowd right now for your emotional well-being, don’t waste anymore time, go get some NOW.

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